Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Falling Apart Like Poorly Molded Jello

we continue to be born every minute
Thich Nhat Hanh

he not busy bein' born is busy dyin'
Bob Dylan

...I try to reinvent myself constantly...or maybe it just happens, whether I want it to or not...either way, it's harder than it looks...particularly since any particular invented self tends to be hard to see...and starts to wobble and fall apart like poorly molded jello when I try to poke at it a little...to make sure it’s actually there...substance is most certainly elusive...though parts do seem to get stuck at times...feel a bit too solid and unmalleable...as such, it’s hard to know exactly what I’m working with...or, perhaps more to the point, who’s doing the working in the first place...


Anonymous said...

I feel a little like Jello myself these days. Lol!

Anonymous said...

This creating/recreating/falling apart routine, is kinda replicating the creative powers of nature.

Its not 'natural'for human beings to remain static - that's some kinda weird social conditioning, or fear of death or something.

But the 'lila' or 'play'of the universe is exactly this... manifesting, unmanifesting and everything in between...

Kikolani | Blogging, Poetry, Photography said...

Maybe you do have to fall apart a bit, and the pieces that fell can spread out and show new sides to yourself that you never knew existed.

~ Kristi

Melinda said...

Jay--this is so interesting because I have been thinking about writing a post about reinventing myself. Of course, I loved that aspect of being an actor--donning new roles but I also loved doing this when I was a call girl. I would choose a character to portray as I was getting ready for a 'date' and dress in character, complete with costume.

Of course, it was because I could not really share who I was on the escorts I went on--the only way I could do it was by being high and also by being a different character.


RB said...

It may not be important to know "what" you are at any given point. Think of elements that change from solid, to liquid, to gas. Certain components are constant--but they're not visible to the naked eye. The physical form is in flux, and our lives are spent trying to figure out what the permanent, defining elements really are.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

I have been feeling like a quivering pile of goo lately. Jello hold's its form, it conforms to the shape of it's mold, even after it is removed from the confines of that mold.

Perhaps that is an metaphore for inside-the-box-thinking.

I often imagine that when Monks perform the Heart Sutra for a lost soul, that they are in effect giving that soul permission to loose the form of the last life, so as not to be trapped in the box of attachments.

Living people can go through that too. Although painful, I imagine the end result could prove to be enlightening.

earthtoholly said...

I can't help but think of a piece of clay on a potter's wheel, a wobbling, out-of-control mass that needs to be centered before it can be crafted, but crafted carefully, lest it become overworked and start to wobble again before possibly collapsing. There's a fine line there, but with humans there seems to be a huge gray area with room to move and change and room to correct, if that's what's needed.

I think I'm the unworked mass sitting on the wheel, waiting for who knows what...where's my potter?!

workhard said...

I like dalis work, he gets us into a dream like state

Haiku poetry

Janet said...

the creating/recreating is not the problem; it's the trying to hold on to the persona. thankfully jello won't let us get a good grip. sounds like a positive sign to me:-)

Cazywaz said...

i have that poster in my room :)
thanks for commenting my blog, your blogs really really good, theres not alot of dark blogs out there and its always good to find them :)