Sunday, May 8, 2011

Building From the Ground Up, Part One


...sitting at the usual coffee shop, drinking the usual coffee, thoughtlessly cogitating the usual misgivings, apprehensions, and regrets...self-judgment, ennui, and mild depression...life as usual seeming like one big obstacle course with no clear path apart from that defined by the obstacles themselves...

To be able to free oneself is nothing; the hard part is being able to live with one’s freedom.
André Gide

...trying to fly away might have been your first mistake.
Bob Mould

...but, idly there in my favorite sunny window seat, the thought comes that I like where I live......(not my apartment, so much...though it’s not bad, really...its problem, for the most part, its messy inhabitant...and the messy thoughts he wakes up with...more internal, that is, than external...though the Upanishads, I think, say that’s all one & the same)...(Ancient and Revered Yoga Cynic Sutra 438:901: ...don't believe everything ya read in the Upanishads...)...coffee gone, irresistible high-calorie toasted buttered cheddar and black pepper biscuit reduced to tasty crumbs I pick up with a dampened fingertip to eat one by one...thinking I really should be getting on with the day but focusing dreamily out at the corner, naturally illuminated...center of my laughably crunchy community...food co-op, meditation studio, alternative bookstore, alternative pet store, alternative whatever the hell that store is, alternative kid's store...run by somebody who’s also a yoga teacher...more certified yoga teachers here than plumbers, certified public accountants, or Republicans...by far...more organic vegan gardeners than people who’d admit to eating fast food or shopping at Wal-Mart...tree lined sidewalks, bicycles with baskets, two churches down the hill, one Unitarian, the other Presbyterian but with a lesbian minister...a community justifiably famous for its effortless integration, though the skin tone in the coffee shop's conspicuously lighter than that in the public school across the street...but, it takes just a beautiful seven mile bike ride following the Wissahickon Creek and Schuylkill River through the park, past the sculpture gardens and Art Museum, to get downtown...residents notably friendly, usually laugh at my jokes about scoring organic crack on the way to yoga class and wanting to call myself a Mt. Airyan but concerned that might give the wrong idea...moved all over the country to live in famous hip communities: Boulder, Olympia, San Francisco, Burlington, Flagstaff, Ithaca, had some fun but couldn’t wait to leave each and every one...then ended up back in this area where I grew up somewhat unwillingly, out of necessity...it's a long story, and kinda personal...to find myself nearly four years later thinking, sea of troubles and all, I wouldn't mind staying for a while....and that’s not a bad place to start...

11 comments:

patti said...

A full circle...perfect!

Fitness Equipment said...

Good stuff

Meredith LeBlanc said...

Biscuits & organic crack...perfect and not all at once. Poetic...love how your mind flows.

WR said...

indeed!

WR

earthtoholly said...

Oh gee, the Gide quote is so true...I am currently working on "freeing" my head of certain anxieties...so far, so good and time will tell.

Haha...love your observations on your community, drjay. Sounds idyllic. Seems you were selfless in that move and now that you seem to be content there...karma? Ah, but I ramble. Anyway, environment is so important for all kinds of reasons and sounds like you're in a good one.

And I can't stop thinking about that cheddar and black pepper biscuit...damn!

Brooks Hall said...

Sounds nummy… lookin' forward to readin' part 2, too.

Lydia said...

I loved this. Your area, your town sounds really hip...but also very fine. (You sure have lived in a lot of places!)

berenice said...

hola Dr. Jay, so i guess we could say: "welcome home!" your hippie hipster town, lovely read!

on your Bob Mould comment, i saw him once at the Casbah :)
http://www.23hq.com/bere/photo/408804

i will send you an e-mail with some Kurt Vile music, have you heard him or of him? he's from around your town, superb musician, somewhere i read they call him Caustic Dylan ;)

Namaste in a tune

Grace said...

Ah, that first paragraph, I can relate to that flow of feelings . . . as per usual, you express it so well.

Eco Yogini said...

i need organic crack lol
I have surprised myself in moving back to Nova Scotia. ten years ago when I went to university in the province over I said a very firm: "See ya later stinktown!" and vowed never to come back.
and here I am. and Happy.

Anonymous said...

Your writing and just the way you are on the daily, when I see you....inspire me to be more honest with myself and accepting of myself and the world around me. I still often feel like I'm hiding inside of an ideal that doesn't exist.... but then it fades again and I'm cool for a while like I take a class, have a cup a coffee, see people who kick arse or finally clean my room up.....

You rock Dr. Jay.....
See you in the fall.
Peace