Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Day Before the Earthquake Hit


...feeling totally miserable the day before the earthquake hit...thought I’d reply to some e-mails...y’know, reach out a bit...but was finding it difficult to say anything about my life that didn’t come across like an outtake from a Dostoyevsky novel...

...so trying to put things in perspective, decided to describe the catastrophically horrible day leading to my miserable outlook...only to find that, as details appeared in little black letters before my eyes, it didn’t really appear all that bad....slept badly, had an unpleasant driving experience, dropped my ipod in a swimming pool...(with things kinda spiraling from there, mentally, at least, to more general money concerns to self-laceration for a history of klutziness to a life seeming in such dark moments to go nowhere but the next costly fuckup...y’know, that kinda crap)....but, then, how many people got to spend a good chunk of a sunny summer Monday lying around in a swimming pool, thus allowing expensive electronic toys they’re fortunate enough to have to get wet, in the first place?...so, I left that part out, too...

...(then, I’ve never really understood how the other people have it worse thing is supposed to cheer anybody up....it’s more likely to make me think oh god, there’s misery everywhere...just as look at what a good life you’ve got makes me think jeezus, there’s no hope for anybody....and, anyway, both kinda translate as you’re an asshole for feeling bad...which doesn’t make me feel better at all)...

...then the spigot farted out something nasty when I tried to get a glass of water...so went downstairs to see what was up...

...towards the end of the yoga teacher training, they had us write letters to ourselves, put them in self-addressed envelopes...which would somehow be sent to arrive when you most need it....I thought it sounded all touchy-feely and new-agey, but, nonetheless, wrote something heartfelt...

...and there, as I asked about the water...turned out the plumber was working on the pipes, earlier...in the basket, was an envelope with my name written on it in my own chicken scratch...containing a lotta semi-poetic stuff about untapped possibilities and diaphanous veils all too easily mistaken for reality...and, at the very bottom, five words: you are on the path...

11 comments:

Silliyak said...

So you got that going for you... (I'm hoping you get the reference)

berenice said...

wow dr. Jay, an earthquake on the east coast, that's unheard of! glad to know you are fine, and hopefully all the moodiness got shaken out! i miss reading you and i miss my own blog, life has been hectic, but earthquakes put all in perspective, hope you are fine now!

TheRiverWanders said...

Two things: One, you can't feel bad enough (or sick enough, sad enough, low enough to make anyone else feel better-so I've been told) and, two, you get what you need (not necessarily what you want, but what you *need*) when it needs to come to you, from whatever source. Even yourself. Path. Just be on it. You're on it, anyway. :)

Brooks Hall said...

Yes! You are on the path. You are tapping your potential, Dr. Jay! Tap the resource. Let it flow. Wooo.

WR said...

"...(then, I’ve never really understood how the other people have it worse thing is supposed to cheer anybody up....it’s more likely to make me think oh god, there’s misery everywhere...just as look at what a good life you’ve got makes me think jeezus, there’s no hope for anybody....and, anyway, both kinda translate as you’re an asshole for feeling bad...which doesn’t make me feel better at all)... " :) you are a nearly PERFECT yoga cynic!!!! I kinda of think crappy days are not unique to humans but we are unique in that we can perseverate about the bad ones. The 'there is not hope for anyone' is one of my personal favorites ~ have nearly made it an art form. But hearing it from you helps me get over myself, laugh and move on!

Thanks, I needed that! :-D

Claudia said...

That was beautiful. I find amazing how the universe works in such ways, even though at the time it seemed new agey (oh I have been there too!!!), I am almost at the point where I am letting go of those judgement already, more and more convinced that every step is carefully designed for us to get closer the the issues we need to work on, learn from... Sending you light

the walking man said...

when I feel like I am in the middle of a shit storm then is when i know i need to not change my path but my definitions of shit.

Meredith LeBlanc said...

I'm having a whacko day...
Hurricane coming my way...
Can't think of nuttin' to say...
'Cept, rock on Dr. J!

It's A Yoga Thang said...

Yep, we are all on our own path and while some people have a more challenging path than others, we are still allowed to own ours and call it what we want. It's a part of that yucky growth process, even if it starts with something we may see as not-so-bad, yet it feels so bad to us.Awareness.

Kim said...

That is awesome. I think we need to start an exchange of sorts with the blogosphere and letters to ones self. Everyone is in charge of another one's letter.

And, if it makes you feel better, I would have been a total bitch fit mess if I dropped my ipod in a swimming pool.

Lydia said...

So, does an ipad float? Thought not.
Whatever the inspiration behind the post, this was a wonderful post.

Must go answer emails now, many many emails...