Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Not Enlightened Yet


I can’t be good no more...
honey because the world gone wrong...

The Mississippi Sheiks

...John Milton said they also serve who only stand and wait...but how ‘bout they who sit around getting in utterly needless nasty arguments with complete strangers in the comments under youtube videos?....

...had a bit o' road rage on the way to yoga class today...yeah, it’s happened before...this time in a car...somebody making it nearly impossible for me to merge, and I, quite unmindfully, flipped her the bird....then noticed she was driving a hybrid with all kinds of mellow, socially conscious bumper stickers, like that one with COEXIST made up of symbols representing the world’s major religions...and she seemed to be taking all the turns I was...occurred to me she could be heading to yoga class...possibly even the same yoga class I was...which could be uncomfortable....figured maybe I’d break the ice with something like actually, sister, the middle finger is an ancient Hopi symbol that means “the radiant earth crystals of my heart imbue you with their healing love energy"...and maybe she’d be really moved by that and we’d go out for herbal tea, vegan stir-fry, and the latest documentary about drinking water...

I had read everything I could find about enlightenment. But the more I read, the more despair I went into because these texts had nothing to do with me and my problems. Enlightenment? I just wanted to wake up without wanting to kill myself.
Ana Forrest

...some yogis have a real problem with that particularly potent and aromatic form of prana known as coffee....I point out that they didn't have it in ancient India...if they had, Yoga Sutra 1.1...atha yoga nushasanam...translated into the English dialect unique to Philly and Jersey as: yo, let’s do some fuckin’ yoga...would most likely be preceded by Yoga Sutra 1.0...first we drink coffee...

9 comments:

Rachel Fox said...

For years I was too messed up to drink coffee (too neurotic for caffeine!). Just getting back into it now - joy!

the walking man said...

My enlightening middle finger has many meanings, but mostly you're a fucking idiot for cutting me off or not moving over when you had plenty of room ass wipe. That is so if you ever visit Detroit you will understand that enlightenment takes many forms.

Suzanne said...

I spit coffee all over my keyboard reading this post........I drive a Prius with a COEXIST sticker on the back........thank you for the laugh.

Meredith LeBlanc said...

I couldn't coexist without my coffee...

YogiCrystal said...

I might just use your explanation for the middle finger the next time I use... sounds fitting to me.
Also, that quote by Ana is spot on, thank you.

yoginibunny said...

i couldn't have been the person in the Prius only because I am in Cali.
I know how you feel, all too well.
I was unjustifiably honked at twice on my way to yoga class last Saturday, I had to refrain from the middle finger sudra but instead gave them dirty look drishti. Thankfully the occupants of that car didn't have any firearms and more thankfully, the yoga class kicked my ass so I was able to burn off the irritability.
I raise my coffee cup to you, cheers!

It's A Yoga Thang said...

I almost got run over by a car JUST like that one on my bike and coffee is like blood to me.

When my middle finger wants to get all out of control, I assume the patience mudra...thumb to middle finger instead. With my luck, the minute my middle finger flew, it would be the one "peace-loving hippie" that's actually violent and has a gun.

earthtoholly said...

Haha...what a great save, drjay. I think your pickup line would've smoothed things over nicely.

Out of annoyance, I once followed someone *ahem* a little too closely on a road which most drive at least 10 miles under the limit, only to realize (as we both turned onto my street) that it was my neighbor. I guess that behavior would qualify me as a flippee. Yikes--must've been caffeine-free that day.

Hey, that's a nice Rose of Sharon you've captured.

Snowbrush said...

I had a neighbor whose car and attitude were similar to the woman who wouldn't let you over.

I love the Ana Forrest quote.