Sunday, April 25, 2010

Springtime Ebbs and Flows...


April is the cruelest month...
T. S. Eliot

...or maybe it’s just me...
Ancient and Revered Yoga Cynic Sutra 126:97

...when spring first hit...felt an awful lot like summer...went out and overexerted myself, ending up exhausted, sore, and sunburned...banged up my knees after catching a bike wheel in an old trolley track that still exists, far as I can tell, for the sole purpose of catching bike wheels...

...more lately it’s been wetter and colder, if greener...been feeling uninspired...not writing much...apart from being virtually eco-conscious by revising, refurbishing and reincarnating old Yoga for Cynics posts*...

...do I understand your question man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
Bob Dylan (in as crappy a mood, apparently, as T. S. Eliot)

...then, perhaps it’s really all a matter of ebb & flow—old-school well-worn zen-like metaphor in progress—and the only trick is to realize it...meaning not just in the sense of hey, maybe it’s all just a matter of ebb & flow—think I’ll write something about that on my blog...but to really realize it...take it in...accept it...stop expecting the world to stand still long enough to make sense...

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Andre Gide

...but, maybe the not being able to believe in that...the suspecting it’s all bullshit...is simply part of that ebb...faith and doubt not pulling in a tug-o-war, but operating more smoothly in a kind of dialectic tide...unceasing movement avoiding the stagnation of self righteous surety, fanaticism and fundamentalism, as well as the dry sand of fatalism and despair...nothing definite...except that wherever ya end up, ya won’t be there for long...


*...like this one...about the haiku Allen Ginsberg wrote for me...which I then spilled something on...posted earlier today...

11 comments:

earthtoholly said...

Ya gotta hit those tracks on the perpendicular, drjay! (Just kiddin'...I know you know that.) The only thing worse than tracks are wet tracks, which I've ridden over plenty of times and fallen more than once. Like dodging vehicles isn't enough.

Having been self-obsessed for the past few days with a stifling cold and/or sinus thing, I agree on the cruelty of April. Then again, maybe it's just being boxed up with my fellow humans on the train for too long and it has nothing to do with April. Okay, whiny now...

By the way, I read your haiku post (lurked actually...didn't comment) and that was so cool, Allen Ginsberg writing you your own personal haiku. Sure beats my Charles Bronson scrawl, which I've long since lost.

Eco Yogini said...

interesting how seasons will affect people differently.

you're right, it's ebb and flow, your creativity will be back!

Brooks Hall said...

"faith and doubt ... operating smoothly in a kind of dialectic tide... avoiding the stagnation of self righteous surety"

Yes, this is good stuff! In the past, high on "awareness" when I thought I "got" something for a sec, in the next sec or two I found myself eating some humble pie for sure--part of the "dialectic of faith and doubt" no doubt. There might also be a stage of things more like a layer cake where we can almost hold the faith and doubt thing like a sandwich. Doubt is the foundation to discover and hold faith, like the butter on the bread...

Kim said...

How true. April does suck. And that last quote by Gide was right on.

sukipoet said...

i got caught by the ecstasy of that early summer heat in spring and now i am bloody freeezing, what a disappointment. you see, i am not enlightened yet. ah well. it's all finger lickin good, lickin being my word verification word for today

Grace said...

Wow, you've totally captured my mood from the last few days in this post. Funny how that happens.

the walking man said...

I distrust this self appointed malaise this early in the season. I am not supposed to feel this way until late august when the heat is oppressive.

Lana Gramlich said...

I took a tumble to a train track once, myself. My sympathies. Dang things!
As for the "ebb & flow" of Spring, the land here would KILL for some water! We're having the "dust & crack" of Spring, unfortunately.

Kitty said...

Ah, yes. April is cruel, but not nearly as bad as F-ing February was. Totally went over to Elephant and tweeted that. I'm getyourOMon over there. I hardly understand it though. Baffling. Metta - Kitty

It's A Yoga Thang said...

I love April, April has been beautiful in Texas. :)

I also love this: "except that wherever ya end up, ya won’t be there for long"....

Laura Hegfield said...

"...but, maybe the not being able to believe in that...the suspecting it’s all bullshit...is simply part of that ebb...faith and doubt not pulling in a tug-o-war, but operating more smoothly in a kind of dialectic tide..."

Maybe...I think so...but not being a fundamentalist I can't say for sure.

oooh the word veri is: wisse

you are very wisse dear cynical yogi!