Saturday, June 26, 2010

Dr. Jay Saves Lives

The other Dr. J

...this year, on the summer solstice, I...(no need to make a big deal about this, folks...I’m sure you all would have done exactly the same thing under the circumstances)...saved a life...

...to be more specific, the life of a young mannequin...like I said, no need to sing my praises for such a selfless and courageous act of heroism, which, no doubt, is exactly the course of action you yourself would have taken, if told to by a qualified CPR instructor...

...nonetheless, anybody so inspired to draw a deep, meaningful poetic connection between the saving of this imitation-life and the summer solstice may feel free to leave it below as a comment...

...more pressing is the matter of my official bio, which, evidently, needs to be changed from

the kind of doctor who, in case of emergency, can explain Faulkner while you die

to

the kind of doctor who, in case of emergency, can stand there for a minute or two looking stupid and thinking “ooooh shiiiittt” before finally stepping to the fore and saying "soooo...ummmm...anybody know CPR?...Like, y’know, other than me?...No? Oh...ummmm...okay...”...then get down on the floor and, we can only hope, remember to pull the head back and squeeze the nose, and recall that it’s two breaths to thirty compressions*...though, if that doesn’t work, we’re of course back to Plan A: “Fragmentation is central to Faulkner’s work. His entire wide and rambling Yoknapatawpha saga may be seen as a collection of fragments attempting some kind of desperate cohesion, themselves often broken up and confused...”**...***

...on second thought, maybe I’ll leave it as is...



* yes, that’s the appropriate ratio...really...get re-certified now...

** actually the first two sentences of
Splendid Failures in the Old South, the first section of “One nation: no longer anywhere;” Going Native in Yoknapatawpha, itself the second chapter of my dissertation, “The Painful Task of Unifying:” Fragmented Americas and “The Indian” in the Novels of William Faulkner and N. Scott Momaday...seriously...

*** now that I think of it, change the names and it could also be a pretty reasonable description of this blog...


9 comments:

berenice said...

ahhh Dr. Jay, so glad you saved the dummy's life, got your CPR certificate, welcomed the summer, and overall to read your new wonderful bio (LOL!) it's great to read you, like your description of the blog too, namaste!

WR said...

I fail to see the incompatibility of the notions/actions of saving the life of a 'young mannequin' and explaining Faulkner to same. Of course, the former might be viewed as being a good citizen (in the context of a CPR course) and the latter might alter that view to "a good citizen who is slightly crazed" but hey, the people who failed to act and choose to stand and stare would walk away with not only a tale to tell BUT might be just a tad enlightened/educated...in spite of themselves. So Dr, J ~ was your act compassionate? :) Have a great week end!

Lana Gramlich said...

*LOL* In the past, over the years I spent working security, I've had to have all KINDS of special training (inc. CPR, fire & chemical safety.) All of that's expired by now, I'm sure, but I have to say--I'm really glad I never had to use any of them!

earthtoholly said...

Congrats on your certification, drjay. My only CPR class was so long ago that I can't even remember at which workplace I took it...or if my dummy made it through okay.

And at least you have a bio...I've been working on mine for two years now.

Wow. What a great mural! The artists who create these are just amazing.

Eco Yogini said...

I had to save a baby dummy's life during my 'child' CPR training.

it was strange.

Brooks Hall said...

Dr. Jay: In response to your comment on my blog: whaaaaaat? I'd love to meet you sometime. So I just don't get the "wouldn't feel worthy" comment... How do you know? I think you would have made it extra-special! ...you could have brought your knowledge of CPR! We didn't need it (thank god), but you could have helped if it was needed.

nadinefawell.net said...

Mwahahaha! Now you can save any dummy's life.
Me, I am coming up for re-registration and would have to sing 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' to myself to get the compression rate right. Not pretty. But effective.

Melinda said...

Well, the next dummy's life you save could be human! Hahahahahaha. Thanks for the irreverant laugh, Jay. Always a pleasure!

Melinda

Bob Weisenberg said...

"Yoknapatawpha" starts with the first two letters of "Yoga" and the first three letters of the "Yoke", which is what Yoga means in Sanskrit, giving all of Faulkner's work a hitherto little known Eastern meditative unity, which you apparently inexplicably missed in your dissertation.

Bob W.