Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Do You Have to Do Something Wrong To Be Forgiven?


...famous yoga blogger Brooks Hall wrote this lovely poem about forgiving the world, and I left a typically silly comment...

and the world forgives you, too...or, at least I do...or I would, if I was mad at you or you'd done anything I'd need to forgive you for...does a person have to do something wrong to be forgiven?

...then I thought hmmm...that might not be such a silly question...though it certainly wouldn’t be the first time acting silly led me to insight...

...I mean...forgiveness has been called divine...an incredible loving gift we give to one another... grace, itself...the very essence of love...representing the highest kind of interconnectedness between human beings...oneness...even, dare I say it, God...

...in that one long ago instant at least out of the long and shabby stretch of their human lives, even though they knew at the time it wouldn’t and couldn’t last, they had touched and become as God when they voluntarily and in advance forgave one another for all that each knew the other could never be.
William Faulkner

...so...do I really need to piss somebody off to get me some?...

...of course, the question may be, ultimately, kind of academic, since, let’s face it, anybody who knows me well enough to love me has had to forgive me for all kindsa crap...

...and I’m grateful for that...

...so...for what it's worth...this blog sends out forgiveness to you who are reading it...regardless of whether you've done anything wrong...





*I also hereby forgive anybody who missed the irony in my latest Elephant article*

19 comments:

Linda-Sama said...

I believe forgiveness is more for ourselves than it is for the other person. When we're hurt or betrayed we carry around lots of rage and when we forgive those feelings get released. hopefully.

patti said...

Thank you Dr Jay, I forgive you too.

“Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field – I’ll meet you there.”

~ Rumi ~

berenice said...

lovely stuff this forgiveness matter Dr. Jay, and lovely is Brook's poem too... and i very much agree with Linda-Sama about forgiveness being as much as for oneself and for the forgiven one... as you appreciate quotes, i leave you with 2 of my favorite ones that somehow have to do with forgiveness... Buddha said
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." So better to forgive, even oneself, than to get burned


and a Shakespeare one on mercy, that after all conveys a lot of forgiveness and like it, applies both ways:

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth, as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice bless'd;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes..."
~The Merchant Of Venice Act 4, scene 1, 180–187, William Shakespeare

oh yeah!! and you are forgiven, thank you for forgiven my silly comments as well!

louloulovesbooks said...

This post came at such a perfect time for me.
My day would have been a lot harder without these thoughts this morning.
**curtseys**

Elize said...

Great thoughts, Dr. Jay, and loved Brooks' poem & the Faulkner quote. Makes me think about the relationship between forgiveness and acceptance...

sending some back your way, too.

And I loved your elephant journal article, irony et all....

earthtoholly said...

Having done something wrong is, I'm certain, at times subjective and in the eye of the beholder, so, no, I don't think one needs to do something wrong to be forgiven, however, these beholders may not be the forgivin' type. So maybe this is a better answer to "Do You Have to Do Something Wrong To Be Blamed?" Does any of this make sense?

I'm glad you're doling out forgiveness, drjay, as I'm sure I've set myself up for some...not enough Lucy pics...not enough purple flowers...and like Berenice says, *ahem* "...my silly comments..."

That's a gorgeous photo...I've always loved silhouette shots. And I've never been to Cape May, but have heard it's really nice there.

(No forgiveness necessary here for the article...I totally got that. Ha!)

Brenda P. said...

How very lovely and not-very cynical. I like Berenice's Buddha quote...I do well with visual metaphors. Plus, I can always use the reminder.

More grace, less hot coals!

Bob Weisenberg said...

Nah, I don't forgive your for nuttin'.

Karin Bartimole said...

There will always be people around saying other's have done them wrong, even when the other hasn't a clue they've done so -so why don't we all walk around in a state of forgiveness always?!

I'm with Linda - forgiveness of self is the most essential for truly benefiting from the experience - at least that's what I've learned. I've gypped myself of freedom to be a whole lot lighter by carrying hurt over traumas of my past - for carrying that hurt and pain I had to forgive myself. For not forgiving my perpetrators sooner, I had to forgive myself. Once done, my load was lightened and life was a whole lot better!
Thanks for sharing Brook's poem!

sukipoet said...

i too am with linda. self forgiveness, so hard yet so important. and when i can forgive myself, i can then more easily forgive others which is really forgiving myself

Brooks Hall said...

Dr. Jay, I forgive you with all my heart. I've never met you in person, but from what I know (and don't know) I absolutely and fully forgive you without hesitation. And it would be a prayer to hope that I would have the strength to forgive again, even in the presence of a perceived wrong.

Bossy Betty said...

Intriguing idea! Lots to think about here. I teach "The Sunflower" in my class. Have you ever read it?

Lana Gramlich said...

I forgive you, too. :)

WR said...

Doing wrong is one of the essential human burdens and forgiveness a gift and indeed a 'grace'. Knowing how to forgiven is probably also essential to being fully aware of the moment to be in it....

Forgiveness (and gratitude) sent to you as well.

Emma said...

honey, you were *born* forgiven :)

distracted by shiny objects said...

A-ha! The Faulkner quote makes sense to me in terms of the "original sin" concept I never could quite understand. I assumed it was one of those mysteries--kind of like how the kidneys work which, let's be honest, is magic--that would reveal itself someday. So now, I feel incredibly smart and at one with the universe for about 2 hot minutes. I'll take it:>)

Silliyak said...

I agree that forgiveness is the gift you give yourself...mostly...and I forgive you for continuing the negative stereotype of silliness. I prefer to think of it as non attachment, or maybe I'm just being, well, silly of course. As the old story goes "My boy you have broken rule 56, you have taken yourself too seriously"

La Gitane said...

Since we're all bound to screw up at some point or another... Let the forgiveness flow, I say!!

Maybe when we all reach a state of enlightened compassion we'll love each other unconditionally and won't need to go through baby steps like "doing wrong" and "forgiving".

But until then, find me someone who's never done anything wrong ans I'll have the debate with him or her! For all the rest of us, I reckon forgiveness is a pretty good way to go!

Melinda said...

Hey Jay? Just say I've been right about everything we've ever disagreed on and I'll forgive you, okay? :)

On a serious note, now--as you know, I have struggled mightily with forgiveness. And I've come to my conclusion (at this point of my life, anyway) that forgivness is not the same for all situations. There are different ways of forgiving a person but I feel what is most important is finding a peace for yourself. Forgiveness isn't about the other person, I feel. It's usually about us.

Sorry I've been remiss, Jay--I've been in a tunnel with only one vision lately. It's nice to catch up a bit.

Melinda