Sunday, October 30, 2011

Confessions of a Yoga Cynic?


For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
Carl Sagan

Loneliness is not a problem. Loneliness is nothing to be solved.
Pema Chodron

...was briefly...(perusing the interweb news in a grouchy moment)...thinkin’ it might be time to start a new, less-yogic type o’ blog...specifically, one just to piss off people who piss me off....which I guess would be kinda like Cynicism for Cynics........whereas, here, I try more to simply acknowledge the negativity...give it its due, credit its often quite solid reasoning, rather than trying to dismiss it with empty feel-good sentiments...(that’s called repression, people—it only looks like positive thinking)...then, y'know, try to grow something reasonably funny out of it...(um, yeah...that is kinda like a lotus flower, now thatcha mention it)...

...I understand the ahimsa of biking- rather than driving-drunk...possess the self-awareness necessary to realize that running on a treadmill, loudest music I can find blasting through headphones, eyes wavering between magazine and TV screen, pushing myself to burn as many calories as humanly possible within the hour while doing everything imaginable to distract myself from the experience, is the complete antithesis of yoga, even if I sometimes do it anyway...just as I get that all these time-wasters I put so much energy into are merely flimsy, ultimately ephemeral, and ineffective bulwarks against a deep loneliness that’s always still there no matter how many empty distractions I throw at it, and yet, I love me some good distractions...

...at the same time, gotta admit my cynicism towards yoga tends to manifest itself more in theory than on the mat....teachers and others have, in fact, left me dumbfounded, remarking on my apparently prodigious energy...dedication...even the positive attitude they see manifested in my practice...like, seriously....sure, I might disagree with some, or a lot, or even most, of what they say...(see that totally snarky empty feel-good sentiments remark, above)...but, then, they mostly know that and don’t mind, so why should I?...(hell, the only real yoga arguments I ever get in are on-line...generally with people I've never seen up close, sitting in chairs and typing on computers)...and while, true, I don’t revere my teachers in any classic, Eastern hierarchical kind of sense, and don’t plan on starting any time soon, I do like them an awful lot...

3 comments:

sukipoet said...

Is part of this the difference between words and thoughts and actually doing a physical/spiritual/meditative action such as yoga asanas? More and more, I keep silent, as words seem to have nothing to do with anything that I actually DO in my life. They are just descriptions from afar in a sense. And I have been a writer for years and still write and use words. A bit of a puzzle in a way. These two parts of the self.

earthtoholly said...

I like those quotes.

I would totally enjoy that blog if it ever came to be, drjay!

I think I know what you mean about the exercise...supposed to 'live in the moment,' but I do the same on the indoor trainer...enough music to get me as close to an hour as possible, and the time can't go fast enough. Thank goodness for distraction! An hour on the treadmill? Good for you... methinks running is tough.

Nice fall photo, by the way.

Claudia said...

oh yes, bit of a puzzle...

Well said!

I like that you give a place for the energy of keeping it real.