Sunday, May 3, 2009

Getting Personal...


...contrary to the impression some may have gotten from that last post, this blog’s not gonna prostitute itself for hits, gratuitously throwing around keywords like big boobs...kinky sex...or hot throbbing orgasms...so don’t worry...

Oh I just don’t know where to begin...
Elvis Costello

...actually been doing some intense personal writing...off and on...since the trip to Mexico...where somebody told me I should write about the stuff I don’t wanna write about...things I tend to hint at before making a joke about big boobs, kinky sex, or hot throbbing orgasms...

...finding I can only dig into that stuff in pieces...going in, then backing off, then going in and backing off again...sometimes it helps to drink three quarters of a bottle of red wine first...saving the last quarter for afterwards...but, in the long run, that’s probably not the best idea...

Humanity’s hope lies in its capacity not to accept the way its past has played out.
Joel Kramer

...I didn’t really need to be told that...I mean, hell, it’s what I’m trying to get other people to do...dig into their deep trauma and put it into words...capture it in narrative...encapsulate it...put it outside where they can look at it...re-envision...reevaluate...reinvent...

...then, other people’s problems are always easier to confront...and it’s not exactly unusual for the cobbler to wear no shoes...ask anybody who’s spent any time with shrinks outside of their professional capacities....I’m the son of a psychiatrist and a social worker, have had a couple messed up shrinks as friends, even went out with one for a mercifully brief time...I’m not gonna tell ya what she was into...

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
J. Krishnamurti

...as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing better, if you’re gonna try and help somebody else, than an awareness of just how fucked up you are yourself...to know you’re not one inch above or below the person you’re trying to help....sometimes I get the impression that the addicts I work with see me as more like one of them than one of the staff...and I take that as a compliment...

14 comments:

Lana Gramlich said...

Ultimately everyone has their story, after all.

Koe Whitton-Williams said...

Dr. Jay - so i went over to google's advanced search to see how many times I would find sites with both the phrases "kinky sex" and "rene magritte" in the tags. But when I got to google I spelled 'kinky' as 'konky' since I am, you know, typing in the dark. . . Then I chickened out and didn't actually do the search. It's early, early in the morning and I have not yet cracked open the bottle of red wine.

Writing about the stuff we don't want to write about is like interviewing your worst nightmare. . . she says the darndest things.

Glad you're feeling better.

svasti said...

You should at least make sure that bottle of wine is good, and preferrably share it with someone else, for your health as much as the social aspects...

But I can't quite envisage that, not yet anyway. You sharing that stuff freely. Perhaps in time, once you've written it and it holds less power over you than it currently does.

Anyway, its true, anyone who thinks themselves as higher or better than or more evolved than anyone else, is lying to themselves and the world at large. And that's no way to help anyone, least of all yourself.

Its tough facing what you think of as the very worst things about yourself. Then sharing those things with a friend or two, is a whole different board game. Kinda partly why I ended up writing an anonymous blog. Not that the anonymous bit has worked out quite like I expected.

In any case, as is often said here in Australia about flatulence... better out than in

Brooks Hall said...

I don't think that there's anything personal about using the words, "big boobs...kinky sex...or hot throbbing orgasms..." in a blog post.

Aggie said...

We are all broken people, in one way or another, otherwise the world would be an ok place. It is important to recognise that in oneself before you can objectively look at other's pain. You gotta be able to walk in another's shoes without judgement and you can only ever do that if you know your own shoes (with all the holes) first.
Pass the wine & cheers.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

I once read about an idea that a person should write about themselves as a hero, or a mythological character. I loved that. Even if I don't really do it, I love that thought and it culminates other thoughts and ideas. As for the rest. I do not care to compare or rate pain. For whatever reason I have discovered {and often heard repeated} that each of us is given exactly what we can handle. And that intensity like many other things is contextual, personal and subjective.

earthtoholly said...

Hi drjay. I've been thinking of getting more personal over at ETH...keeping in mind, of course, why people visit in the first place...what they expect. Don't wanna run folks off, but an upcoming family get-together has started me on the road of self-analyzing...again.

I like your idea of "going in, then backing off" on your personal writings...uh, you were talking about your writing, correct? And not the "throwing around" of keywords...oh, never mind...*blushing*

Brooks Hall said...

Dr. Jay,
You have my respect even when you joke about using the words, "big boobs...kinky sex...or hot throbbing orgasms..." Although I prefer not to read those words here. There's enough crap on the 'net ya know! Maybe I just have a hang up.

Okay, I'll keep reading...

patti said...

I think it was Leonard Cohen (?)who wrote;

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Drowsey Monkey said...

Trust me - I do lots of post with naughty words but not for hits - and those people rarely stay for longer than 0 seconds anyway because I'm not what they're looking for. Story of my life, lol.

Anyway - I enjoy deep introspective posts. I actually do write them but they don't find their way to my humour blog. I look forward to your uncomfortable journey.

Erik Donald France said...

Hey, Whatever Works.

Salud and onward.

This Brazen Teacher said...

"as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing better, if you’re gonna try and help somebody else, than an awareness of just how fucked up you are yourself...to know you’re not one inch above or below the person you’re trying to help"

thank you for posting that.

I think it's pertinent to teaching children. In the end, kids just want to know it's okay to be fucked up.

Brooks Hall said...

This is my third comment on this post. I definitely was triggered by the hit-grabbing words. Seriously, I had trouble focusing on what else you were saying. But then I thought about it and wanted to say that that the addicts you work with don't see you the way you see yourself. They probably just see someone who is reaching out. And I totally agree that it must help to feel like you are on the same page as them.

Lydia said...

To listen online to Portland's great radio station Kink one must remember that it is at kink.fm and not kink.anyotherextension, unless one wants to wind up at sites possibly favored by that psychiatrist you dated briefly.....