Thursday, May 28, 2009

Moving, part one

...I’m moving...not far, just a few blocks, a bit deeper into West Mt. Airy, State of Heavily Caffeinated Sadhana, USA....nonetheless, it causes me a lot of anxiety...not that there’s really that much to do...just packing crap up...dealing with the fact that Comcast cut off my internet service five days early, so that I have to go to the pizza place around the corner to get on-line....no, despite what you may have heard, the blogger’s life is not always glamorous....getting the new place ready and gradually lugging stuff over, then renting a truck for the bigger things, then cleaning up the old place....shouldn’t be too much work...I don’t own that much...certainly a lot less than most people I know, particularly those anywhere near my age...though, actually, I’d like to own less...or, at least, to feel like there’s less that owns me...

...everything you gather is just more than you can lose...
Robert Hunter

...I’m feeling the need to let go of a lot of stuff...much of which doesn’t require a moving van...and requires more than a toss into a dumpster to really be rid of....though I’ve got ideas, my brain's been feeling all gummed up...stuck...weighed down by seemingly endless clutter....wouldn’t even be making this move if a friend hadn’t talked me into checking out the new place...owned by his soon to be mother-in-law...and, even then, only if it was still available once my lease was up...

...even some recent posts here have felt rather obligatory...from my perspective, at least...as if the energy’s shifted somewhat from got this amazing stuff I gotta share with the world toward shit, it’s been three days since the last post, time to crank another one out....then, without a doubt my worst discovery as a blogger has been that of the omnipresent stat counter...carrying with it the poisonous idea that a thousand unique visitors—most of them winding up here thanks to misleading google searches and leaving quickly once they find there are no mp3’s of Dylan and Lou Reed songs I’m always quoting, or instructional diagrams for eka pada kapotasana or supta baddha konasana—are somehow more important than a handful who’ve actually connected in some meaningful way with something or other written here...and, apparently, based on comments, there've been a couple of those...so, fuck numbers...better to write from the heart, or else write nothing...

...my point is to make a move that involves doors opening to more than just a different couple of physical rooms...to go from stagnation to clear flowing vitality...to slip gently out of old patterns, let go of used-up perspectives, old thoughts and feelings that might’ve been useful once but now would best be left in the dumpster with all that styrofoam crap from all those boxes I’ve been digging out to pack up my books...

...though that, of course, is easier said than done...

12 comments:

Tawny said...

wow lol

berenice said...

Dr. Jay, I wish you the best of lucks with moving, I hate moving myself, but somehow after the move is done, I feel the change as a refreshing shower of new things, hope you get to state soon in your new home... on getting rid of old things, sometimes it's a bit heartbreaking to get rid of past stories but uplifting too! as I age every day I realize I like to owe the less of things, good luck with the move and new Dr. Jay you'll find once your new life gets settled... ah! and good for moving aside of caffeine is up music as you like ;)

earthtoholly said...

Come listen to the story of a man named Jay... When I saw that photo I couldn't resist.

Drjay, you've got a patient bunch out here and we'll wait for your heartfelt or non-heartfelt writings, no matter how long they are comin'.

And all the old baggage...do you think we can really get rid of it or do we just put it in the back of the closet and learn how to not drag it out again?

Hope your move goes smoothly...

Brooks Hall said...

I hope your move goes well! I hate moving. But I liked hearing about moving "from stagnation to clear flowing vitality..." Yeah!

Lydia said...

Your posts don't often give me goosebumps, but this one did. YOU are there in every word, and even in the spaces. Maybe, actually, mostly in the spaces of this one. I'll so very definitely be recommending this post over at my other blog.....or, if you give me permission to reprint the whole post with a HUGE link back here along with lots of deserving praise, let me know.

Karin said...

so true, so true.
I've recently been going through similar shedding, clearing, stripping away and throwing out of stuff, both literally and symbolically, and though freeing, it's also kind of exhausting. Moving adds another whole layer to this kind of shifting. I've moved a lot in my life, and long distances - when I'm stressed in my day time life I have anxiety dreams about moving!
WIshing you the smoothest of transitions and hope you love your new digs!

the walking man said...

If there is no other benefit to physically moving your stuff from one place to another at least the scenery changes.

patti said...

Ah Feng Shui! - I just love the idea of new energy being created, even if it's not mine personally.
Although really, your energy IS my energy in the great big scheme of things.

Be prepared to be out of sorts for a while, as often when we make big changes there's that awkward time of shedding the old skin, before the shiny new stuff shows up.

Anyway - a long way to say I'm happy for you, I hope it all goes well!

p.s. Don't stop writing from the heart!

svasti said...

I loathe moving too, which kinda comes with the territory given I'm now in my nineteeth (official) address - let's not count the rest!

Consequently, I have not a lot of physical stuff myself. And I'm endlessly giving away or selling whatever I can. Must be those previous lives as a monk or something (that, and my thing - sometimes - for guys with shaved heads).

The hassle of picking up and re-settling and finding new resting spots for all the crap you're no longer sure you need, but can't quite bring yourself to get rid off... until the next time you move at least. It blows, and not in the good way.

So good luck with all that, hope you've got someone there to help you out a bit.

A change (if you're not already doing it way too often) is good for the soul. And hopefully you can leave a bit of luggage behind when you go. That's always my aim, anyway.

Oh and by the way, if you're getting 1000 visitors a day, you're doing ay better than me! ;)

Deborah Godin said...

I dislike blog stats, too, but I reserve my biggest hate-on for those tattle-tale "look who's visited" thingys with the name of my town and my flag. I know some bloggers who have that gizmo, and then complain because they can tell that not everyone who stops by leaves a comment... Ignorance=bliss.
Good luck with your moves - both physical and mental.

Kvatch said...

I’m feeling the need to let go of a lot of stuff...much of which doesn’t require a moving van...Came to it somewhat late in the game, but divesting seems to me to the be the way to happiness.

Rhiannon said...

Jay, I've got to say you really wrote straight from the heart and just how you feel and how things go. Moving is such a process..but in more ways than one.

"too many rules not enough imagination" "not enough soul" "the world doesn't owe me anything" but "then I don't owe the world anything either"..this reminds me that I've said this often to myself through the years. I wholeheartedly agree and think I understand what you mean.

I really want to simplify my life and have much "less" in materialisitc aspects and yet in many other aspects also. I know you know what I mean.

Your like me in that you are comfortable with yourself on your own and off sitting in a mountain top and just "connecting" with what you feel and know. I like that. I've always been this way all my life and people always mention how "strange" they find it..I find it "strange" that they rarely take the time to get to know who they are on thier own "inside' within themselve..their too busy running the rat race which they call "life"..sigh..having no clue who they are without someone else.

You sure are evolving and going through much these days..reading your post I see so much honesty and growth. I hope the same for myself one day..still working on it..many lessons for me to continue to learn.

Rhi