Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Seven Veils

...Yoga for Cynics is once again feelin’ the blog love...with a whopping three (3) (III) blog awards coming to its lowly self from a trio of vastly superior...okay, I’ll cut the self-loathing/false humility...also-really-good bloggers...Roseanne of It’s All Yoga, Baby, Brooks of Yoga, the Mind and Culture, and Eco Yogini of...ummm...Eco Yogini...

...as is probably clear to anyone who’s read this blog for a while, I’m not so good with rules...like, for instance, I actually do know how to write complete, properly punctuated sentences...but don’t...nonetheless, I think there was something about seven things...

1)...which reminds me of that obscure Bob Dylan song Seven Curses which is totally stolen from at least one old folk song...or at least retells a classic folktale...also appropriated, at various times, by Leadbelly, Led Zeppelin, and the Marquis de Sade...about a young girl who agrees to sleep with a crusty old judge if he’ll spare her father’s life, only to wake in the morning to find out that the judge lied, and her father’s been hung after all...and it ends with seven curses on a judge so cruel...which are that one doctor cannot save him, that two healers cannot heal him, that three eyes cannot see him, that four ears cannot hear him, that five walls cannot hide him, that six diggers cannot bury him, and that seven deaths shall never kill him...

2)...I realize that the previous entry wasn’t about me, and in fact had nothing to do with anything other than the number seven, and will try harder with the rest...

3)...had a weird sensation in yoga class, doing bridge pose, with eyes closed...felt strangely small...which, in the way people generally use the expression feeling small doesn’t sound so good...but it’s different when one tends to think of oneself as large and ungainly...

4)...ironically enough, it often seems that those who are most nostalgic and resistant to change have miserable pasts...which, I suspect grows from of a feeling that something essential was lost back then...and that, the further away then gets, the less chance there is to retrieve it...

5)...my first attempt at a blog was called It’s Rough Inside Your Head...its name something a shrink said to me once, after I’d gotten her completely exasperated by expertly shooting down every attempt she made to get me to think about my life in a more positive way...as such, the blog, which I think I wrote four posts for, never telling anybody about its existence and then killing it when I started this one, some time later, was an outpouring of unreserved vitriol about whatever pissed me off so much I felt I had to express it but couldn’t in most social circumstances for fear of offending or frightening people...

6)...was actually planning on digging out some sample paragraph or two from that unmourned virtual entity...but, somehow, in between the laptop it was created on and the one I’m typing on now, the file that stuff was saved on seems to have been lost...

7)...the goal of this blog, on the other hand...or, at least, one I can think of right now...is to try and cultivate somewhat more open, less combative aspects...not to deny those other parts, but, virtually, at least, to create a relatively peaceful, quiet space where they can be allowed to rest for a while...like a yoga practice, but in words...kinda...

11 comments:

Kavindra said...

Meandering, funny, honest, irreverent and unexpectedly profound ... this is why the awards come rolling in.

btw, isn't it rough inside everybody's head? isn't that why we do asana and meditate and go to shrinks etc? or do maybe I reveal too much by even asking ....

Eco Yogini said...

haha, awesome.
Dr. Jay I do enjoy your posts and your complete randomness. Thank you for this fantastic seven tidbit-veil-snippets. :)

Lisa (aka Eco Yogini).

Mandy said...

I had that image in a book as a kid and loved it, was strangely attracted to it, don't know what that says about me though. Maybe, I need some therapy...

Linda-Sama said...

I'm in good company with the other award recipients!

Silliyak said...

"rough head' reminds me of a favorite Ann Lamott quote which is something like "Your mind is like a dark alley, someplace you shouldn't go alone"

RB said...

It is so true that the worse your past, the harder it is to give up. I've always wondered why. Maybe because you think that if you think about it enough, you can change it? Or because if you've had a hard time it's harder to live in the moment, and the future? I dunno. Good one to think about.

roseanne said...

You deserve all the bloglove you get! And keep the angst-ridden comments coming - they make my day!

the walking man said...

Frustrating psychiatrists is a worthy endeavor for a time...then the fun passes and it becomes time to change shrinks.

DaisyDeadhead said...

I told my endocrinologist about my blog, she took a look, and it really seemed to alarm her. She talked to me a lot differently after that! Not sure why.

I think she thought I was lots dumber, or something...

earthtoholly said...

Congrats on all the love, drjay...it's all well deserved.

I've been thinking about your #4 there and trying to figure out how that applies...being awfully nostalgic, yet not having a particularly miserable childhood, except for major mommy issues ...oooh, my brain hurts...

Your dearly departed blog sounds like a rip-roarin' good time...I think I would've enjoyed it, although nothing beats the yin and yang you've got going now.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

I got stuck on the Feeling Small comment in the Bridge Position. I know that feeling and its wonderful. You are insignificant. Meaning not responsible for the turnings of the Universe and you have this wonderful vantage point with which to watch. Or at least that is how I experience that kind of insiginificance. The ability of joyfully passing un-noticed through nature, observing its processes without changing them and marveling at it all.