Sunday, October 11, 2009

It's About Time


Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Steven Wright

Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world--and never will.
Mark Twain

... There are times I feel I'm new and different...like the past is just a series of harsh cocoons I’ve sloughed off...left in a pile I can sort through if necessary, but no more parts of my self right now than banana peels and apple rinds tossed in yesterday's compost...leaving me nothing to do but grow....and there are other times I feel like I’ve never left high school...or nursery school...or my first experience of unrequited love...or my second...or third...or tenth...or that gradual, mostly forgotten disillusionment that comes to all of us when we realize our parents aren’t actually omnipotent, omniscient, or even omnibenevolent...

...just as I was writing that, got a spam e-mail, advertising products meant to temporarily ease the downward pull of time on male sex organs...which, if I’m to believe the official date and time, was sent at 8:55 on September 3rd, 1938...

...a little while ago was in the car listening to some early Stones...Aftermath...that collection of classic rock n' roll riffs, bad vibes, crude misogyny, and angst released just in time to mark the birth of the late 60’s love generation...not to mention my own birth....and opening, on the American version, at least, with Paint It, Black...which has that legendary sitar riff, followed by Charlie Watts’ drums pounding like the heartbeat of someone nearly consumed by dark anxiety...and I can’t listen to it without thinking about just how goddamn good it ain’t easy facing up when your whole world is black sounded when I was sixteen...which, at this point, makes the song a refreshing reminder of how much better right now is than those fabled best years of my life....and how, all in all, my thirties were better, if less exciting, than my twenties...as my twenties, for all their problems, were almost infinitely better than my teens...so, though my forties haven't been without difficulties so far, they still have a long way to go, and I seem to be on an upward slide...

15 comments:

Lydia said...

Love the quotes, the reference to Paint It Black, the whole positivity of this post.

Sidhe said...

I believe that in 1938 there was a secret government email project, the lack of Internet required that they hold those emails in limbo until technology caught up...I guess it finally has and now we all know what the government was really worried about in 1938. All this time we thought that Saudi Arabia's oil or the annexation of Austria by Germany was a big deal but it was really just flaccid phalli.

I remember listening to "Paint it Black" on the old turntable when I was about 14, after having discovered my parents record collection. I'm so glad I'm almost 40!

the walking man said...

50+ ain't so bad either even if poorly planned for.

earthtoholly said...

Think I know what you mean, drjay...sometimes I feel so hopeful, like, okay, I can move on now... And then, I get in a weird mindset and before I know it I'm right back in the past, dwelling and feeling kinda hopeless.

Loved your reference to Paint It Black, and now I'm in the past again...

And I'm happy to hear about your "upward slide." May it continue throughout your 40's, 50's, 60's, etc., etc...

Karin Bartimole said...

god I love this Jay, you've so simply, yet brilliantly, described those feelings of past as separate from who we are today, the easy detachment, vs past as living still in the gut of being, right this minute... wonder why some times cause one way of being over another. Appreciating now as the best time in our lives keeps that life momentum moving forward each day. I love the image you've chosen.
As always, I find thoughtfulness and hilarity in my visit - penile email support from 1938 is just too much!

distracted by shiny objects said...

You are so going to love the 50's...was just saying to Hubby that I wished I'd known him when we were younger and that we could do this all over again, BUT only with the brains and knowledge that we have now. On second thought...we might still be in college, racking up school loans, and never considering the 9-5 routine.

Jan from BetterSpines said...

Love it. Especially the upward slide. And yes Paint it Black was part of my growing up. So many songs evocative of a time of incredible personal and planetary change. And, if I dare say, a time when music had something to say that I could understand! Life just keeps getting better, even after 50.

Brooks Hall said...

I hope you experience great love, and still want to write about it. I like your blog.

Kim said...

Paint it Black is one of my favorite Stones tunes. The guitar riff is unmistakable and haunting.

Just imagine how great your 50s and 60s will be if the upward trend continues!

Kitty said...

perfect illustration for your post.

Lana Gramlich said...

I'm glad you seem to be feeling better. Last night my hubby & I were talking about the importance of following one's happiness, the fact that some people don't know themselves well enough to do that effectively & the fact that happiness is nothing w/o down times to compare it to.

timethief said...

I'm a baby boomer and a Stones fan so your reference to Paint it Black had me singing along. Like another one of your readers said up there: "You're going to love your '50s".
Namaste
timethief

Shane at Environmental Health-Wellness-Beauty,LLC said...

You are making me cry. Something is seriously wrong with me today. jeez, the Stones...memories...getting old...worry...I remember how much joy I had every day when I awoke as a youngster. It seems so many days when I open my eyes, all I want to do is close them again

Melinda said...

I love the Stones' Aftermath--and appreciate it for what it was--crudeness and misogyny included. I wouldn't feel as good about them if they wrote those songs today, though.

I have to say, I truly did LOL at this:

"just as I was writing that, got a spam e-mail, advertising products meant to temporarily ease the downward pull of time on male sex organs...which, if I’m to believe the official date and time, was sent at 8:55 on September 3rd, 1938..."

hahahahahahahahahahaha! And thank you for that, Jay!

Melinda

RB said...

Love this post, and the mark twain post. I think that the past comes back all the time, but sort of moves in concentric circles....every time we repeat a feeling/behavior, we get closer to the point.