Is This the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius? (Kind of a different perspective)

...got some big news, folks...courtesy of my ever-out-there-but-unfailingly-lovable kundalini friends....yes, even bigger than whatever the hell the Mayans predicted is gonna happen in 2012....I’m talkin’ about...are ya ready for this?...

...the Dawning of the Motherfuckin' Age of Aquarius!!!...

...like, seriously...

...no more patriarchy...

...no more wars...

...no more racism, sexism, or homophobia...

...cooperation taking the place of competition and strife...

...harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust abounding, no more falsehoods or derision, something-something dreams of vision, mystic crystal revelation and the mind’s true liberation...blissed out people dancing around naked...kind bud growing abundantly along the sides of endless networks of well-tended bike paths...unlimited free downloads of Grateful Dead and Phish shows...all that good shit...

Acid, incense, and balloons...
the Jefferson Airplane

...(yeah, I know, I thought that all happened back in the ‘60’s, too....guess that’s what happens when ya get yer news from pop songs instead of more reliable authorities)...(like Facebook)...

...so, anyway, it’s all supposed to start on November 11th...which all sounds cool, except............

...let’s face it: if yer gonna kick some ass, ya better do it now....seriously, people, if this thing's for real, that means there’s barely more than a week left to enjoy telling, flipping, or pissing people off...because, after 11/11/11, that shit’s gonna be totally uncool...

....may have to cut this blog post short, for that matter, so I can go elsewhere on the web and leave some gratuitously meanspirited political comments, since there's obviously gonna be no more of that...(hell, I don't even know if there are gonna be any political situations worth getting nasty about...just intimate circles of kind, open-minded earth-mother types gently reaching consensus on the best ways to love and nurture the general population)...

...namasmotherfuckingte, people...(oh, man, am I gonna miss saying that...)...

An Alleged Yoga Hippie Goes to the Dentist

...the yoga streak ended at fifty-two days...number of weeks in a year...number of United States, if Washington D.C and Puerto Rico were admitted to the union...letters in the alphabet if you turn around at Z and go back...half a yoga mala if you take it easy and skip the last four....due to a toothache that led to four hours of intense dental work beginning at around 7:30 Thursday morning....which, could, of course, be seen as a very yogic exercise in maintaining stillness in the face of pain and discomfort...perhaps even contentment...but I ain’t there, yet...

...would I be a really bad yogi to point out the strikingly potent effects of practicing ujjayi and dirgha pranayama with laughing gas streaming in through the nostrils?...

...breathe in the nitrous, relax, feel, watch, allow...
Ancient and Revered Yoga Cynic Sutra 438:92

...complained to the teacher after last Monday’s kundalini class about her making us do that let’s-all-sit-in-a-circle hippie shit...she smiled, suggested I secretly like the touchy-feely stuff...(rumors, apparently, have been swirling since the month at Kripalu...when, allegedly, I hugged lots of people with minimal justification)...laughed and said ”go eat some granola”.....................(which, by the way, I do happen to have for breakfast most mornings...get it at the co-op...but really don’t see how that necessarily makes me a yoga hippie)...




* related matters are discussed in my latest post at Elephant Journal...Trials of a Yoga Cynic *

Dancing Wildly With Your Eyes Closed

...been goin’ to a lotta kundalini yoga classes....kundalini yoga, for them what don’t know, might be the most blatantly religious type o’ yoga...tied intimately to Sikhism...complete with headgear, long flowing robes, titles, and loads and loads of esoteric beliefs....making it not exactly the obvious choice for one so irreligious as your friendly neighborhood yoga cynic...

I can get you high—high on your breath.
Yogi Bhajan

...it’s also might be called the trippiest form of yoga...did I say trippy?!...I meant inward-focused...sometimes involving stuff like dancing wildly with your eyes closed*...which is why so many hippies got into it....personally, I get a solid buzz from yoga in general...but, in a kundalini class, I’m disappointed if I don’t get visuals.......not that, y'know, that's a reason to do it or anything...




* ...think I gained the respect of the drama club in high school simply by showing up for the West Side Story dance audition...I like to be in America okay by me in America everything’s free in America for a small fee in America...like, I was cool just to try in the face of an innate lack of grace, coordination, etc....in the end, getting the role of the guy who comically tries to make the Jets and Sharks dance rather than fight at the dance...without doing any dancing, myself....learned everything I know about the art of dance a year or two later at Grateful Dead shows...chemically infused & almost totally loose....so that trance-dancing in the yoga studio feels almost like coming full circle...

*thanks to Karin for her always amazing artwork*